You know the old saying about first impressions, and how you only get one chance to make them?
That goes triple for online dating.
You can have the most handsome, photogenic dating photo in the world, but tacking a horrible username on it has roughly the same effect as that iceberg had on the Titanic.
Never sabotage your amazing profile with a weak username.
Sure, having the perfect name on your profile never outright guarantees success. But a sexy username that really stands out will give you a big head start in the right direction.
Keep reading for the top username mistakes men make and everything you need to know to choose one that gets more women writing you. You’ll even be spoon-fed 26 examples of good usernames for dating sites like Match.com, POF and MillionaireMatch just for reading until the end.
Ready for your online dating profile to attract more women? Let’s get started…
Your Username = Your Brand.
Some sites feature your username right next to your photo in her search results. A POF username, for instance, is impossible to miss:
That means what you choose to call yourself gets all wrapped up with your appearance when she’s deciding whether to respond to you.
And chances are she’ll make that decision within 3 seconds (usually much faster), because that’s how quickly first impressions can be formed. Those lightning-quick snap judgments are thanks to a process called “thin slicing”, the process by which people subconsciously use little tidbits of information to rapidly form an accurate judgment of someone else.
Which is basically the entire premise of online dating, right? That’s exactly why first impressions might be your only chance.
Unless you’re as attractive as Channing Tatum, a negative, juvenile, or off-putting username will have her “nexting” you instantly.
To put it in perspective, pretend you're a young, hot woman (you know, the kind you want to date). Now imagine 100 messages coming into your inbox each day. Are you even going to click on the one from “four20wannafook”? Neither is she.
Having a strong, sexy username will get you more responses period. And the last thing you want is a username that repels women.
Now let’s talk about the 3 most common mistakes guys make with their usernames, how to fix them (with examples).
Mistake #1 – Reeking Of Desperation
“I’m looking for a clingy, lonely guy – the more desperate the better,” said no one woman ever.
And yet that’s exactly the image usernames like “LifetimeLove4U”, “fit4another” and “lookin2committ” project.
When you make your username about her, it gives the impression you don’t have anything positive to highlight about yourself.
What To Do Instead: Radiate Male Confidence
Most women want to date someone happy, vibrant, and fun to hang out with. Pretty much everyone has baggage and prior failed relationships, but leave all that sad sack stuff out of your profile.
Confidence is sexy, so make sure your username advertises that you’ve got it. Use strong words to subconsciously convey that you’re a damn good catch. For example:
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If you go really Alpha with your username (i.e. TheWarriorWithin), be careful it doesn’t make you sound like some arrogant jerk or someone who’s “trying too hard.” If you’re not sure how it makes you sound, you can always ask a few friends what they think. Female friends, ideally. (Or you could just hire VIDA to do it all for you.)
Mistake #2 – Making Her Cringe
Usernames pack a lot of wallop into ~16 characters or less. Cringe-worthy ones are kind of like an earthquake – they can do a lot of damage in a very short amount of time.
File this under obvious, but stay away from violent words when picking a name. Online dating is scary enough for a woman, don't creep her out before you've even messaged her.
You also don't want to sound like all you think about is getting laid, so nix the sexual references. That means nothing with the numbers “69” in it, references to rides on either a bologney pony or a mustache, and basically anything else a 7th grade boy would find amusing. Funny usernames work great, but only if she thinks they’re as funny as you do.
What To Do Instead: Excite Her Imagination
Instead of making her shudder and move on, choose a username that implies that exciting times lie ahead. Women love adventure, so you could to come up with an adventurous username, like one of these:
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Mistake #3 – Boring Her Off Her A$$
Nothing about a random string of numbers and letters, like “DR42785”, communicates that you have brains and creativity to spare. Neither does tacking a few numbers on before or after your name, or mentioning the city where you both probably live.
In the crowded online dating arena, boring is the kiss of death. Remember, you’re trying to catch her eye as she scans through an inbox crammed with messages from tons of hopeful men. If your username doesn’t spark her interest, why would she want to read your opening line?
What To Do Instead: Intrigue Her With a Catchy Username
A dash of mystery helps you stand out of the crowd. So does showing a bit of creativity, or a flair for the dramatic. Both of these qualities intrigue women. Showcase them with a catchy username like one of these:
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Or maybe you have a unique or interesting hobby. Spark her curiosity about your hidden talents with a username like one these:
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Of course, chances are these username examples are already taken. Although being the first is ideal, can always add special characters like “_.”
For example, GetAwayDriver could become Get_Away_Driver or even Get_Away_Driver_. You could also change a letter “O” to a number “0” so IfYouOnlyKnew could become IfYou0nlyKnew.
How To Create A Sexy Username
Here’s the bottom line: You want a username that inspires, informs, and intrigues her. But easier said than done, right?
Here is a quick writing exercise that will help you generate some ideas. Grab a pen and paper and let’s get started.
First, write down some words associated with your occupation. For instance, if you’re an IT guy, your list of words might look like this:
Next, think of the hobbies and activities that you enjoy, and jot down some powerful words associated with them. There are no wrong answers, and the longer list you generate, the more literary gold you’ll have to build a username with.
Finally, write down some words you think sound interesting. As with the other lists, write down what comes to mind. You can cross things off later, right now you’re trying to get as much source material as possible.
Inspiration could come from anywhere, from your favorite spices to the jeans you’re wearing:
You’ll end up with three lists that are a treasure trove of username ideas. Play with different word combinations until you get one that sounds awesome.
For instance, the short lists above generate all these attractive sounding prospects:
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The longer your lists, the more options you’ll have. Thesaurus.com and RhymeZone.com are both great sources of inspiration, by the way. And before you start thinking rhyming is just for kids, a recent study found that rhyming poetry has “an instinctive appeal”.
Remember, increasing your response rate is the ultimate goal and piquing her curiosity about you helps ensure she'll respond to your opening message.
Use Science To Your Advantage
When it comes to matters of love and attraction, biology is a force to be reckoned with. Researchers have found that women are hardwired to find certain things attractive. Sound like data you could use to make your username more attractive?
Here are 5 scientifically proven facts that will help you write a username she’s powerless to resist:
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#1. Women find names starting with letters in the the first half of the alphabet more attractive. When your username begins with the letters A-M, she subconsciously perceives you as having a higher level of both success and education. If you think of a great username that starts with a letter that comes later in the alphabet, by all means, feel free to use it. But when brainstorming ideas, try to focus on words that start with these earlier letters. |
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#2. Negativity is a turn-off. No huge shocker there, but a lot of guys still have usernames containing negative words like lonely and desperate. Stick with positive, strong words and she’ll be eager to know more about you. |
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#3. Showcase your sophistication, because women are drawn to user names that denote intelligence and culture. Remember, most women are looking for a guy they can show off to friends and family. Might as well start the ball rolling with classy username. |
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#4. Women love a guy who makes them laugh. It’s true – Mother Nature decided that funny always wins, at least when it comes to traits women are biologically programmed to find attractive. |
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#5. She’s attracted to alpha males. You’ve heard of survival of the fittest, and that theory most definitely applies to online dating. Choose a username that showcases an alpha male trait, and you’re already a step ahead of the competition. Think along the lines of loyalty, protectiveness, bravery, stability, and courage. |
Starting to see why so many guys default to something lame like “CubsFan92”?
But you’ll be glad you put in the effort to create a strong username when more attractive women start responding to your messages.
Let's recap with a username DOs/DONT’S list:
DO:
- Use strong, interesting words to capture her imagination.
- Choose a name that tells her something about you, and makes her want to know more.
- Borrow a page from Darwin’s playbook and highlight alpha male traits.
- Be creative and original. If you have to resort to special characters to make it work, come up with something else.
- Put some effort into it so you get it right from the start. (On some sites, you can only change it if you have a paid subscription!)
DON'T:
- Include sexual, creepy, or violent words.
- Use boring words that make her think you're lazy and/or unimaginative.
- Be negative. It’s an instant mood killer.
- Make your username about her. Names like “Searching4The1” make you sound desperate.
- Forget that you’re trying to catch the eye of attractive women. Save the juvenile humor for the locker room.
Of course, nailing your username is just the tip of the online dating iceberg. If you want to meet the best local women, your profile, photos, and icebreaker messages all need to crush the competition.
You could check out our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating For Guys and spend hours applying all that expert advice to your own profile. But why go through all that effort, when you could get even better results without doing any work at all?
Put our team of online dating experts to work for you. You’ll get more than just a killer username – you’ll get an expertly-crafted dating profile that gets proven results. Even better, we’ll handle all the back-and-forth messaging for you, so all you have to do is show up for all the dates!
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