No luck attracting the relationship-worthy men on this popular dating app? Chances are you’re guilty of (at least) one of the 5 biggest Hinge mistakes women make.
The good news is you’re about to get all the expert advice you need to fix your Hinge profile & approach to messaging, and start matching with some true boyfriend material.
Start wherever you want by clicking the links below, or just go from the top!
5 Most Common Hinge Mistakes Women Make:
- Your profile pics tell him nothing about you.
- Waiting for him to make the first move.
- Forcing him to do *all* the heaving lifting.
- Giving the wrong impression with your prompts.
- Getting hung up on the little stuff.
#1: Your Profile Pics Tell Him Nothing About You
Hinge profiles don’t share a ton of information with potential matches, even by dating app standards.
With space for just 3 Hinge prompts and 6 photos or videos, choosing pics that showcase your personality and hint at your hobbies, interests, and lifestyle is essential.
And yet way too many women just roll with a boring lineup of selfies, then wonder why they have no matches on Hinge they actually want to date.
Let’s take a look at Ivette’s lineup from a guy’s perspective on Hinge. What is he actually learning about her?
- She likes tattoos.
- Her wardrobe probably has mostly dark clothing.
- She has at least three mirrors in her home.
- She makes her bed.
… and that’s about it.
If you’re just looking for something casual, a more superficial lineup like Ivette’s will probably get you some likes & matches.
But it’s probably not going to attract high-quality, dateable, boyfriend material men.
If you’re tired of attracting the wrong men on Hinge, make sure your photos are packed with intriguing insights into your hobbies, interests, and daily life.
A great Hinge photo line up for women looks something like this:
Not only is this photo lineup instantly more eye-catching than a slew of selfies, he’s learning a lot more about Aly too:
- She’s physically fit enough for outdoor sports
- Her lifestyle involves travel and interesting places
- She puts a lot of effort into her appearance
Those are three common “must haves” on just about any guy’s dream girl list. A lineup like this on any dating app will help attract the kind of high-quality men you want to date.
For even more expert advice on choosing your profile pics, check out these Hinge photo tips for women!
#2: Waiting For Him To Make The First Move
Why give men all the power once you’ve matched?
A whopping 57% of men said they don’t receive enough messages on dating apps. If you’re interested, why not start the conversation on Hinge?
Especially when the dating app makes it so easy to do by giving you the ability to like a specific pic or prompt, and include a message with it.
In the example above, she uses two effective messaging techniques:
- Establishes something they have in common
- Asks a question to get the convo started
Researchers like Justin Lehmiller from the Kinsey Institute have found people tend to naturally – and subconsciously – gravitate towards others who are familiar to them. So establishing a commonality can spark an attraction.
It’s also one of the best ways to start a conversation on a dating app, because people generally enjoy discussing topics that interest them.
| PRO MESSAGING TIP: According to Bumble’s data analysis, “short & snappy” openers ranging from 10 to 15 words got the highest response rates. No reason to think that wouldn’t work just as well on Hinge! |
Asking a question – instead of just sending something boring like “hey” – gives the conversation an immediate direction and helps you hit that golden 10-15 word range.
This technique also works when responding to a “like” on Hinge.
Instead of just matching with him and waiting for him to send an icebreaker, include a message that starts things off:
Once he responds and the Hinge conversation gets going, make you’re not…
#3: Forcing him to do *all* the heaving lifting.
One word answers, never expressing any curiosity about what he likes or does, and letting days go by without a response is just as annoying to him as it is when you’re on the receiving end of behavior like that.
There’s a very fine line between playing hard to get and seeming completely uninterested or aloof. So it’s generally best not to play games like that on a dating app if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
First of all, Hinge rewards active users with more Most Compatible matches and higher profile visibility. So you should be hopping on Hinge daily. And while you’re there – respond to your messages.
Hinge makes it easy to keep track by labelling messages as “Your Turn”:
Don’t wait for him to send a second message as a test to see if he’s *really* interested, or answer whatever he asked you with a super short reply. You likely wouldn’t do that during a face to face conversation, so why do it on a dating app?
Hinge recommends exchanging messages for 5 days and then suggesting a date. At VIDA Select, our dating experts generally get a positive response to a date suggestion or number swap after 10 or so messages have been sent by both halves of the match.
If you’re not comfortable asking him out directly or suggesting a number swap, you can start by dropping hints about not having any weekend plans, and wanting to check out a particular park, cafe, or wherever you’d like your first date to be.
#4: Giving the wrong impression with your prompts.
Dating app profiles are a very curated experience – he’s looking at content you’ve specifically chosen to share with him.
And what you choose to share, especially when space is limited, says a lot about you.
For instance, pointing out a pet peeve may give the impression you’re hyper critical or controlling. Not exactly sought-after traits in a girlfriend…
You’ve only got three chances to make him want to spend time with you, and positivity is almost always more compelling than negativity.
Instead of griping about what you don’t like, give him a glimpse into what a typical weekend looks like for you:
Roz’s prompt answer in the example above lets him know that she’s physically active and close with her friends and family – two attractive traits.
Another effective way to market yourself on a dating app is by choosing a personality trait you have, then telling a story to illustrate it.
For instance, this prompt answer from out in the wild highlights your fun, spontaneous side:
And answer like this shows him you’re adventurous, without actually writing something boring and cliche like “I’m adventurous”:
Hobbies, favorite pastimes, music you love – whatever makes you happy translates well in a profile.
On the other end of the spectrum, one of the biggest Hinge mistakes women make is accidentally throwing up a red flag.
This actual Hinge prompt example may leave him wondering why people assume Mag is mad:
Don’t make him think you’re not great at communicating before he even knows you.
And an answer like this may make him worry dating you comes with a side of drama:
Mentioning your ex, past relationship woes, or anything of that nature are all things you should not say on a dating site.
Focus on what makes you an ideal partner, not reasons to think twice about dating you.
And when it comes to finding your ideal partner on Hinge, make sure you’re not…
#5: Getting Hung Up On The Small Stuff
On average, dating app users decide to like or pass on someone in less than a second, and appearance is the biggest factor.
But you’ll likely have more luck on Hinge if you don’t hold too tightly to your “Type” when scrolling through your match feed.
Instead of tapping the X on auto-pilot, check out all his photos. See if anything in his prompt answers spark some interest.
Try matching with someone who maybe doesn’t look like the guys you usually “like” but he’s cute, has a great job, and his prompt answers made you laugh.
Turn an eye to your Hinge filters as well.
Is being a minimum of 6 feet tall truly a dealbreaker? That restriction could cause you to miss the guy who’s 5’9” but perfect in every other way.
Save the deal breakers for things that deeply matter to you, whichever options those may be.
Over filtering your potential match pool, especially if you’re in a smaller city, can turn Hinge into a very frustrating experience.
And if you’re already frustrated with Hinge…
Why Not Let VIDA Select Help Find Your Dream Guy?
When you’re not matching with men you want to meet, dating apps can be depressing. In fact, dating apps can cause depression, along with low-self esteem and psychological distress.
And it’s worse when you don’t even know what you’re doing wrong – you just know online dating isn’t working.
Until now.
VIDA Select offers a different approach to online dating! You can outsource all that frustration and depression, and let our team of dating experts handle everything for you.
It all starts with a set of dating app profiles that are optimized to attract your ideal guy in a genuine, authentic, and compelling way. Your photo lineup is chosen based on a data-driven ranking process.
And we’ll even handle all your messages – carefully screening your matches so you’re only meeting “ideal partner” contenders.
With VIDA Select, it’s really that easy. Learn more about how it all works here!
